For A Minute There, I Lost Myself

I've been dreaming again, since I got injured.  Different from how I remember dreams feeling, though.  This is more like I'm being dragged along somewhere.  Always through the City Without Shadows, and then looking at those yellow Operator Symbols.  I suppose it makes sense.  Major shit has been going on, and I can't get in touch with The Roommate, and now I can't even keep watch for...

Okay, I guess that betrays my real motivations.  I want to observe, because I want to help.  Sure, I'm terrified of actually being caught up in this again, and killed or worse...but I want to help.  I've been lurking around hoping to catch sight of the Thin White Duke stalking The Roommate, but what was I planning on doing?  Just observing as he murders someone else?  Tackling him and calling the cops?  I need a better plan.  How the hell do you fight these things?

The Panopticon has a plan.  It's not a good plan, but it's something.  They think the Slender Man is primarily an antagonistic meme, a sort of insanity virus.  At least, that's what I'd seen before.  Bentham's crowd is different from the others.  Different symbol, and that group doesn't seem entirely convinced that Slender Man is all in the mind.  Probably all the corpses, and the evidence.  They seem to be under the impression that he's a tulpa, not an uncommon theory, actually.  Doesn't make their plan any less ridiculous.  Since ol' Slendy is powered by belief, they try to get rid of all evidence that he might exist.  Including us.

Picked this up from Michael's story.  Apparently Bentham picked him up, flashed a badge, and pretended to be from some kind of X-File bureau.  Michael's actually met real NSA agents, though, something to do with the mathematical models at the heart of this whole mess.  Bentham just gave the wrong vibe, and seemed too willing to believe Michael's insane story.  Talked about how vital it was that it was kept secret, to keep 'civilians' safe.  At this point, Mike was pretty sure he was going to end up shot in the woods somewhere.  So, he jumped out of the car and ran for it at the next light.  Managed to pick up his Vespa and find a place to hide out.

Useful fact:  Burn Notice is a good way to learn a lot about the spy trade.  Corollary to previous useful fact: watching Burn Notice will not actually make you a spy.  I didn't spot the car following the bus I rode to the small hotel to meet Michael.  Didn't notice it pulling into the hotel parking lot when I got there.  Was, in fact, rather surprised when Bentham burst through the door with a pistol drawn.

I'm a pretty big guy.  And apparently something about me when I was running at him scared the hell out of Bentham.  That, plus the element of surprise, let me knock him over with a flying tackle without getting shot.  Michael scrambled past me while I was still wrestling with Bentham, grabbed the gun.  The agent, naturally, has better training than me...I ended up on the ground in pain, while he started chasing after Michael.  But, Mike was already on his Vespa and away.  I started running...Bentham got in his car, gunned the engine, and drove straight for me.

That's when everything went black.  Not when he hit me...I remember that.  It happened before I felt the impact.  Everything went dark, I stood there, then I felt a pain in one side, and got thrown violently in the opposite direction.  I woke up in the hospital, with cracked ribs.  Damn lucky...or something.  No idea why I'm not dead.

What The Hell Am I Doing Here?

It says it's been thirteen days since my last post.  I answered Michael.  In retrospect, I wish I hadn't.  I want to find out what's going on, spread the information around.  I don't fucking want to draw the attention of these weird...things.  I try to stay objective, even if I'm not very good at it.  Trying to help Michael...that compromises my objectivity.  And, apparently, gets my ribs cracked.

Despite taking so long, it's a pretty simple set of events.  I got back in touch with Michael, took a little while to convince him to meet with me, talk about what he'd seen.  Sure, email could give me the basics, but I wanted to see if he was affected by the same strange memory issues that I'd been observing.  Eventually he gave me the address of a shitty motel, one that would apparently take cash and ask no questions.

Bad signs right away.  Operator symbol was crudely scratched into the door of his room.  Not the same style as whoever is doing it around campus, though.  Most likely his own work...though when I asked, he didn't know he was doing it.  No surprise, in retrospect.  Memory loss is not uncommon in Slender Man encounters.

I'm pretty sure that's what he's dealing with.  He says when Dr. Ellison walked into the office, there was another person in there.  Tall man, in a suit.  Said he grabbed the doctor, lifted him effortlessly, and sliced him apart.  He wasn't clear on how the doctor was cut up, since Slendy's hands were busy holding on to him, but the results speak for themselves.  Michael was frozen there, in terror, until Slendy dropped the pieces of the doctor, and touched the desk.  That's when the fire started...

Something new to be afraid of finally got Michael's legs moving, and he sprinted out of the building.  And, as some of the community seems to know far too well...running away works.  At least for awhile.  He even tried to call the police.  Hell, maybe he succeeded, and the dispatcher is on the Panopticon's payroll.  All I know for sure is that the only official to contact Michael called himself Agent Jeremy Bentham.


I'll post more later.  Because, obviously, we haven't gotten to the bit with the violence and injury yet.

I've Given All I Can, But We're Still On The Payroll

The timeline, as I understand it, culled from rumor and police questioning.  Early last week was the last time Dr. Ellison was seen.  Apparently Michael's been missing since that Wednesday.  Thursday morning, Dr. Ellison's head was discovered in the woods.  By the time I was questioned, they'd found the rest of him, more or less.  I guessed from his research that it might be the Empty City.  This isn't the City.  Nobody finds a body if the City gets you.  I've been dismissing shadows as paranoia...but what if it's the Nightlanders, crawling around the hallways?  Escaping from the Doors that his research opened?

But they terrorize.  They punish.  They may break someone's neck in anger, for disobedience, but I've never heard of the shadow men ripping someone apart.  And what the hell is up with the fire?  Are they really trying to conceal Dr. Ellison's work?  Was it dangerous to them, somehow?  Are they some kind of puppets of the City itself?  

And speaking of concealment...no news on the dismembered body, at all.  It's a fire and a mysterious disappearance.  Might be the Panopticon at work...but nobody seems to even want to talk about what happened, or speculate.  It's actually starting to remind me of how people react when I ask them about the murder last year.

And if that's the connection, what the unholy fuck does Tall, Dapper, and Dangerous have to do with any of it?

Into This World We're Thrown

First Panopticon Guy:  "Hey, somebody took a picture of a doorway into the Empty City, and seems to be actively searching them out."
Second Panopticon Guy: "There is no Empty City.  This is the best of all possible worlds."
FPG:  "Well, yeah, but he was still snooping around the doorway that doesn't exist.  How should we deal with that?"
SPG:  "Tell him there's no Empty City?  We really don't have a lot of tools here, you know."
FPG:  "Should I mention that this is the best of all possible worlds, too?"
SPG:  "You know it, bro!"

This is the only way I can possibly explain what I found today when I went back to check the suspicious doors I looked at on Wednesday.  Door one and two, no change.  Door three, though?  Pictures speak louder than words.
This is what was waiting for me where the third photo on my last post was taken:

I get the message.  Fuck off,  we have this under control.  But it means these runners aren't crazy.  The door really did disappear.  I saw something that is supposed to be impossible.  I took a fucking photo of something that's impossible.  And somebody noticed.  I'm not sure right now which fact is scaring me more.

Clinical, Intellectual, Cynical

I must have typed the right thing into Google, because on my second attempt, information about the Panopticon organization just seemed to spread out before me.  An insane, powerful group trying to ignore the Fears in the hope that they go away.  It's a nice theory, actually.  They inspired me to do some research.  The logic is, if the Fears exist as anything other than a pernicious meme-complex, there will be evidence.  I'm in a city, and I attend one of the largest universities in the country.  If even a few people are targets of the Fears, there should be evidence to find.  What to look for?

Obviously unexplained disappearances are a sign of all of them.

• Archangel: unusual religious activity, Timberwolves, the symbol, dead people seeming to return to life
• Black Dog:  unusual fang marks, guilt-based "suicide", reports to animal control
• The Choir: nonsensical arguments, explosive misunderstanding, mold
• Cold Boy: freezing to death in this climate would be very obvious
• Convocation: unusual behavior among birds, scarred minions
• EAT: strange obsessions, Camper, odd fascination with water...good climate for EAT here
• Empty City: doors where doors ought not be, might be difficult to spot in college buildings, but clear proof if it happens
• Plague Doctor: unusual illness
• The Rake: particularly bloody murder, strange reports to animal control
• The Slender Man: fires, Operator symbol, reports of stalkers without crime
• Smiling Man: bodies without hearts, flowers, not very subtle

Anyone know what the word is on the Archangel taking over existing religious groups?  Also, curious about the duration of Empty City doors.  Should I be comparing them to photos the next day, or five minutes later?  

I almost feel stupid looking for this.  It's not really the place of science to go hunting gods and demons.  Still, I don't see why it wouldn't work.  If there's no sign at all, I can get the idea out of my head.  

Everybody In the Whole Cell Block

Been researching the Fear Mythos, but have yet to hear of what the Panopticon is. Hints are that it's some kind of secret organization. The word means "watcher of all", and I keep finding a prison design in my searches. Just a tiny bit ominous, that. Hope Proxiehunter is in hiding, rather than caught.